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Title: The MQOS Poems
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score: 561
Posts: 561
From: USA

(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:03 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952Sent: 1/1/2003 4:42 PM
 
Egads! You've gone and called me James!
This is the very worst of names!
You hate me Mom! You want me dead!
I hope someone chops off your head!
 
Well I'll surprise you! I will live
In spite of crummy names you give!
I won't end up like all the rest
Because you flunked the Mommy test!
 
When you are dead, I will survive
And rest assured I'm gonna thrive!
I'll be th king! It ain't a dream,
And PROTESTANTS will be supreme!
 
I won't end up like James the first
Cuz Graham thought he was the worst,
and I won't be like number two
Who bit it when the cannon blew!
 
I feel so bad for Jimmy Three
Who got killed by his family tree!
I swear I won't end up like him
MY son will be called Chuck, not Jim!
 
And I'm not gonna go to war
And end up dead like number four!
He married Margaret, I'll take Anne
And just for luck, I'll try a man!
 
My Grandpa James was number five
A coward when he was alive!
He lost a battle, then he cried
And hit his head and then he died.
 
In spite of such a dreadful name,
I am not gonna die in shame!
I'll keep my head and you will not
Because you can't resist a plot!

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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:561
Posts:561
From: USA

RE:The MQOS Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 8:03 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 1/1/2003 4:45 PM
 
 I do not understand at all
 Just why from grace I had to fall!
 Nor why I suffered from the axe
 Cuz Liz misunderstood the facts!!
 
Twas not my fault that I loved sex
And longed to see who'd have me next!
Tis true, I liked to spread my legs,
So men could fertalize my eggs!
 
I wasn't good at picking guys
The first was gay, he told me lies!
He duped me! I was not to blame!
So why was I a fallen dame?
 
What could I do? I was a mess!
He had to go! Would you do less?
Of course it wasn't by MY hand,
I paid the killer 50 grand.

With Darnley dead, I thought it smart
To give a protestant my heart!
The pope was mad! He said No No!!
But I ignored the papal show.
 
Some say I got just what I earned,
And Liz was never overturned!
She kept her throne, I lost my head
She got to rule, and I was dead.
 
Alas!! It was a gruesome scene!
And such a mess for me, A QUEEN!!
It took two strokes to chop it off
And them I scared 'em with a cough!
 
The axeman held my head up high
And then they thought I didn't die!
I moved my lips, and scared the crowd
And then my doggie cried aloud!
 
He hid himself beneath my skirt
And didn't want me to get hurt!
Poor dog! It was to his dismay
They chopped my head off anyway.
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:561
Posts:561
From: USA

RE:The MQOS Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 9:22 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 12/30/2004 4:20 PM
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknamePainter12952</NOBR> Sent: 10/29/2004 11:03 PM

Dear Brother, soon I will be dead.
Tomorrow, I will have no head.
They say I masterminded plot
To grab the crown I shoulda got!

I ate my dinner, then they came
And told me I was all to blame.
They said, "Hail Mary!! Time to die,
So tell someone you love bye bye." 

Tomorrow when the clock strikes eight
I'm goin' throught the traitor's gate
Without the crown I never took
While jailor's treat me like a crook.

Alas my brother, I am sad.
I wrote a will, they said "Too bad!"
They cried, "No no! It cannot be!"
And took my pen away from me.

Tomorrow is too soon! No fair!
I don't have time to dye my hair!
It's gray!!! I gotta wear a wig
To my own last beheading gig.

At least I will not die in vain
The true religion keeps me sane.
Saint Petey's gonna let me in
In spite of all my lusty sin.
 
Let's hope the headsman's not a hack
And chops it off with just a whack,
But if it takes more than a stroke
I'll say more prayers before I croak.
 
Love,
Mary
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:561
Posts:561
From: USA

RE:The MQOS Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 9:23 AM)

From: MSN NicknamePainter12952 Sent: 12/30/2004 4:23 PM
From: Greensleeves  (Original Message) Sent: 10/11/2004 8:52 AM
Trolling online for stuff as one does.....came across a bio of St Margaret, Queen of Scotland, at About.com....which states the following:
 
After Her Death: Of her relics, Mary, Queen of Scots, later had possession of Saint Margaret's head.
 
 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknamePainter12952</NOBR> Sent: 10/13/2004 10:10 AM
Hey Darnley! Come look at what I have just found!
Why it's Queen Maggie's head lying there on the ground!
I think that I'll keep it to bring me some luck
When the Yankees arrive and the Scots go amuck!
 
I'll fix it up pretty and buy it a wig,
I'll make up it's eyes so they look really big!
It'll sit on my dresser and watch as I sleep
I am happy I found it, and it's mine to keep!
 
I'll cherish it always to be my best friend
And I'll tote it around till my days come to end!
One day I might need it to make a repair
If they cut off my own, then I'll have one to spare.
 
 
 
Mary, Queen of Scots
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknamePainter12952</NOBR> Sent: 10/13/2004 10:50 PM
Hey Mary! Gimme back my head!
I doesn't matter that I'm dead!
I want it back! Surrender now
Or I will pay you back somehow!
 
I got some clout, cuz I'm a saint,
And that is something that you ain't!
You sinned a lot, while I was pure
And you'll get yours for this, I'm sure!
 
Big deal that you are still the queen,
Your dirty laundry's being seen!
Up here in heaven's crystal ball
Your secret life is seen by all!
 
I'm Maggie! Saint of all the Scots,
Like Sally Field, they love me lots!
But you my dear, will be despised
For all the plots that you disguised.
 
Now I'm not gonna be your friend
Cuz severed necklines will not mend,
And all your sins won't set you free,
You took my head away from me!
 
THPPPT
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Rank:Diamond Member

Score:561
Posts:561
From: USA

RE:The MQOS Poems
(Date Posted:02/20/2009 12:29 PM)

Hail fans of Mary, Queen of Scots!
Me understands you like her lots!
I guess you pity her demise
Cuz offing her took many tries?
 
Imagine her majestic walk
As she approached  the chopping block
In regal splendor, she was clad
And then she knew that she was had!!
 
"Oh my!" She cried, "The end is near!
I'm gonna lose my head, I fear!
I hope the guy is not a hack
And only takes a single whack!"
 
The headsman struck 'er on the head
And cried, "Oh crud!! She isn't dead!
How can it be? It isn't so!
I'll have to take another blow!"
 
And so he held his axe up high
And thus he made another try.
"I failed again! It ain't dispatched!
Her lousy head is still attached!"
 
He struck and again with number three
And Mary's head was finally free!
He grabbed it quick and held it high
But Mary's wig approached the sky.
 
The head fell out and hit the floor
And rolled around a little more.
Her maids were filled with such dismay
And screamed, "Oh my! The queen was gray!"
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